By Jaime Lintott

The problem is, I have Social Anxiety Disorder and as I get older, it gets worse, I get worse.

Prior to me joining Taekwondo, my life consisted Gilmore Girls reruns and a bag of Smartfood. The older I get the harder it’s become to get away with hiding in my room. I’m going to be 30 soon. I know this isn’t old but I also know that it’s old enough to have collected some pretty bad habits and really bad coping mechanisms, which, for me, mostly consisted of hiding or running scared.

Then, this past December, I watched Taekwondo at my local YMCA and fell in love.

Writer Stephanie Kuehnert Overcame Gym Class PTSD and So Can You!

As the child of two nurses, I was an active, healthy kid outside of school. I took swimming classes since before my first birthday and the pool was my favorite place to be all summer long. I was always enrolled in either dance or gymnastics. My primary forms of transportation were biking or rollerblading (well, as a child of the ’80s, I started with roller skates.) I even played baseball and basketball with my brother and boy cousins.  All of these activities were for fun. No one cared how well I did. It was never a competition.

Gym class, however, was a different experience. There the boys taunted, “oh my God, you suck!” at any missed swing, throw, or catch. I was always among the last to be picked and the first to be blamed for any losses.

But the worst thing about gym class wasn’t the bullying or the sexism or even that universal childhood trauma known as dodge ball. It was that goddamn yearly Presidential Physical Fitness Test (now known as the President’s Challenge.

Coping With Vaginismus

“The first time I tried to have sex, I thought, “oh, it might hurt a little—not that it’d be impossible”, says Audrey, a 23-year-old Chicago woman. “You know how you brace yourself for when a dentist is coming at you? It felt like I was bracing myself for something I wasn’t allowing to happen.”

Though Audrey didn’t know it at the time, she was suffering from a condition called vaginismus. Its name gives little hint to what actually was happening to Audrey—the muscles around the vagina contract, making it painful, if not impossible, for penetration to occur. While it doesn’t mean that other forms of sex aren’t fun, vaginal intercourse is definitely off the table until the problem gets resolved. As Audrey put it, “Your instincts have the power to push the brakes, whether you want to or not.”