Coping With Vaginismus

“The first time I tried to have sex, I thought, “oh, it might hurt a little—not that it’d be impossible”, says Audrey, a 23-year-old Chicago woman. “You know how you brace yourself for when a dentist is coming at you? It felt like I was bracing myself for something I wasn’t allowing to happen.”

Though Audrey didn’t know it at the time, she was suffering from a condition called vaginismus. Its name gives little hint to what actually was happening to Audrey—the muscles around the vagina contract, making it painful, if not impossible, for penetration to occur. While it doesn’t mean that other forms of sex aren’t fun, vaginal intercourse is definitely off the table until the problem gets resolved. As Audrey put it, “Your instincts have the power to push the brakes, whether you want to or not.”

Slippery sex is fun sex. Whether alone or with a partner, internal or external, pretty much no matter what you are doing, using some lube will make it better and possibly safer. Using lube helps things/people go in and out while lowering the risks of tearing or hurting delicate tissues (which is especially important as we age or when we engage in more extreme forms of penetration). Extra lube helps reduce the possibility of your condom breaking. Lube with sex toys make them feel great inside or against your body and putting lube on your fingers before touching yourself or someone else, allows for less friction and a more pleasurable sensation.

Ms. Fit’s Resident Sex Expert Challenges You To Think Beyond the Orgasm

As a sex shop owner I talk to folks every day about sex. Most of the questions I get are pretty easy to deal with but sometimes it requires encouraging people to take a whole new approach on how they view “sex”. So much of our culture uses the word “Sex” to refer to putting a penis in a vagina, everything else is “foreplay.”