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Five Ways to Say I Love You… To Yourself.

Kathie Bergquist
Written by Kathie Bergquist

It’s February, so that can only mean one thing: there’s a lot of romantic love stuff in your face. Romantic love can be great, but let’s get real — no one else can actually look inside your soul and cherish, value, and appreciate your absolute rad awesomeness as much as you, yourself, can so why not set aside some time to show yourself how great you really are? Here are some suggestions to start loving yourself up today.

meditating woman

1.      Go for a walk

Meditating seems good in theory, but in fact, who can concentrate with cats climbing all over your business and laundry that needs to be folded? Instead of lighting incense and humming “om,” why not lace up your boots, bundle up, and move out into the world? A nice hour long walk is a moving meditation that does wonders for the soul. Feel the sun on your face and the wind on your cheeks. Give yourself time to think, or not. Swing your arms and breathe. Clear the noise and relish being alive.

2.      Have a girl beauty day.

No expensive spa required! Take a luxurious bath or a shower. Shave your legs (if that’s your thing), scrub your dry skin, deep condition your hair, moisture up, put on your comfiest pajamas, do a homemade face mask, and polish your toenails. Drink herbal tea and/or lots of fresh, clean water with lemon. Pluck your eyebrows (if that’s your thing).

 3.      Make yourself a romantic dinner

Make your favorite food or try your hand at a dish you’ve never made before. Take your time. Set the table. Use cloth napkins if you have them, and the fancy dishes. Buy yourself flowers. Don’t park yourself in front of the TV. Pay attention to your food as you are eating it; enjoy the sensuality of your meal: the textures, flavors, aromas. Don’t worry about the dishes.

4.      Make love to yourself

That’s right, masturbate. But we’re not talking about a furtive quickie. Make LOVE to yourself, gorgeous. Light candles. Play your best getting funky music. Assemble whatever toys or props turn you on. But more than anything, take your time. Make a ritual of your self-love. Let your fingers explore your body and appreciate every sensation. Tease yourself. Feel no shame.

5.      Choose the least harm.

We all do what we need to do to survive. Sometimes the things we do cause us harm. Today, choose to do the thing that is going to cause yourself the least harm, physically, mentally, emotionally. Just for today, see what it feels like to choose the least harm.


About the author

Kathie Bergquist

Kathie Bergquist

Kathie Bergquist is publisher and editor-in-chief of Ms. Fit Mag. She teaches writing at Columbia College Chicago and edited of the anthology. "Windy City Queer: LGBTQ Dispatches from the Third Coast" and is co-author of "A Field Guide to Gay and Lesbian Chicago." Pulled reluctantly into a fitness lifestyle by her wife and partner of many years, Bergquist is now a runner, a boot camper, and a yogini.

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